Chapter 24: How did you meet your wife?

Edward Ramos was a friend of mine in Okinawa. We also worked together in Thailand. Keiko was Ed’s wife’s cousin. Keiko came to Okinawa to meet up with her cousin and then the two of them were supposed to take a vacation in Hawaii. For some reason, the trip to Hawaii was cancelled.

I was having a BBQ at the barracks where I lived. There was a room in the barracks for drop off and pick up of dry cleaning. Ed stopped by to drop off some laundry in the morning. I happened to see him and invited him to the BBQ. He said that he wasn’t sure if he could make it, but he’d try. In the afternoon, he came back to pick up some dry cleaning. The BBQ was already underway, so I asked him to stick around. He said sorry but his niece was visiting from Nagoya, and they were going to go off base that evening. (He always called her his niece even though she was actually his wife’s second cousin.) I said, “Niece? You have to introduce me!” He said that they would be at the Miami Bar at around 8 p.m.

The Miami Bar was a rather quiet place. There was a long bar, about five or six tables and a juke box. When we went out drinking off base, we’d usually start there, do some bar hopping and then meet back there for some yakitori before heading back to base. I went there at about 8:30 p.m. Behind the bar was usually Mamasan and one helper. When I got there, I asked Mamasan where Ed was. She said that he left and would be back later. I noticed that there was a new person behind the bar and guessed it was Keiko. She was helping out while waiting for Ed.

Oh, that reminds me. When Ed first mentioned his niece’s name, I heard it pronounced “take-oh” instead of “kay ko.” I knew very little Japanese at that time, so I guessed that it was spelled “Tako.” Her birthday was coming soon so I bought a birthday card and wrote, “Happy Birthday Tako”. She gave me a strange look and asked who “Tako” was. “Tako” is pronounced “tah-ko” and it means “octopus.” I was a little embarrassed, but we had a good laugh over it.

I worked swing shifts at that time. I got off work at 10 p.m. every night, so since most places were closed, we went to the midnight movies on base every night. After the movies, I’d walk her back to Ed’s on-base house. We’d talk a little then I would head back to the barracks. I knew no Japanese and she very little English. While talking, she would often say “hai,” which means “yes.” Sometimes the answer should be “iie”, or “no.” So I tested her and said, you are a Communist – hai, your brother is a thief – hai, your mother is ugly – hai. Then I said that we needed to buy a “jidosha.” She asked why and I said we needed it to help communicate. Well, I should have said, “jisho” which means “dictionary.” Jidosha” means “automobile.” Our conversations were interesting to say the least.

She had to return to Nagoya after two weeks. We talked on the phone, or tried to talk on the phone, a few times. We married about three months later. My brother was a priest at that time, and he came to Okinawa to perform the ceremony. Traditionally, the bride’s family and friends sit on one side of the chapel and the groom’s family sits on the opposite side. About 40 of my Japanese military friends attended the wedding, so both sides of the aisle were pretty full.

I couldn’t visit my parents until about six months after the wedding. I was a little worried about how my father would react about me marrying a Japanese. When my brother married Marge, I remember my brother and father arguing about him marrying a Chinese. The Chinese were allies  with the US during WWII but when my brother got married, my father was still prejudiced against Asians. Before my brother’s wedding, my father accepted their marriage. My father was stationed at Pearl Harbor when it was attacked. I was worried that he wouldn’t accept Keiko into the family. But, when we arrived at the airport in Seattle, my father walked right past me and gave Keiko a hug and said, “Welcome to Seattle.”